Two things, really.

Today and this weekend have been interesting.  I spent all weekend with the orchestra playing for clinic.  I originally thought that the music was boring and that I was going to hate it.  But as we began playing, the music really didn't change much, it was still pretty easy (except for that dang Stravinsky... stupid high notes!)  but I feel like this is probably my favorite clinic music.  I LOVE listening to it!  And I feel like this is some of my best playing I have ever done.  Maybe not the most technically correct, but musically, I feel like I have really stretched myself these past few days.  I've been playing outside the box more.  And tonight, as I was going through the dress rehearsal, I just kept hearing Dale in my brain saying things like "play to the back of the hall!"  "BLOW!!!!"  "Its not about hitting notes, but making music."  That last one really helped me push myself all through the rehearsal, and its cool to finally know what its like to make music.  And to do it without being told to by a teacher.  Its cool using a ton of air and getting a great sound.  And doing it because its what YOU want.  I know it doesn't make much sense.  But I feel like I've finally started to really become my own teacher and to listen and be super critical of myself.  I've always been able to get by at Olivet, and its been cool to finally play outside the bubble ;)

Another really cool thing happened in my student teaching today.  After I got done teaching a recorder lesson, my cooperating teacher and I were talking about a girl who played for me today.  She seemed kinda needy and like she needed a lot of positive reinforcement.  It lead to a conversation that I wasn't expecting.  He brought up the fact that we might be the only parent that these kids see.  That was a really humbling (and scary) thought, but it made me think.  I might be the only Jesus that these kids will see.  Often times with the younger students, they give hugs and tell us all about their day and experiences and everything else, and it is my job to love them.  I'm supposed to be Jesus, dressed up like a music teacher.  I thought about that a lot as the day went on.  Like I said in my last post, God uses interesting situations to teach us things, and today, he used my cooperating teacher to remind and challenge me to love every student (and person) I come into contact with.