50 days, 369.25 hours to go!

This week. Its kinda been a rough one, friends.  There's just so much going on with me right now! Its crazy and hectic, but I feel like I'm finally learning to deal.  With everything.  I feel like with all the stuff going on and everything I have to do, I've finally started to learn how to cope successfully without being stressed.  FINALLY.

I've completed my second week of student teaching.  It was an interesting week.  I feel like a teacher now.  One, because I saw students outside of the classroom a few times and they actually recognized me and said "Hi Mrs. Harris" (I've been called Mrs. Harris soooo many times!!!! or Mrs. Harrison or lol) haha.  and two, because I got to buy girl scout cookies from a student lol.  I have successfully taught and tested 75 fourth graders on their yellow belt.  I LOOOOOVE hearing the most boring song played over and over ;)  But watching them learn a new piece and take pride in their playing when they get their belt is well worth it. The eighth graders were a bit more... challenging this week, but today they did really well.  And when I conducted our piece the entire way through today, I was so proud of the work that they did.  And the seventh graders.  I think they might be my favorite to teach.  I started a new piece with them, and they are really doing great with it.  Its a bit more challenging for them, and they really like being pushed, which is great to see!  Whenever I say that its time to work on a different piece, they all groan a little bit.  "Why can't we keep working on this piece till we get it??"  Its nice to see them wanting to grow!  I'm actually enjoying student teaching a lot more than I thought I would (save for a few things).  Its actually made me kinda want to be a teacher somewhat.  It used to be that I didn't want to give up the teaching for performance and once I finally embraced performance/graduate school, I now don't want to give up teaching lol.  I wish that God would just give me a map to my life and tell me straight up what to do.  It would be so much easier!

In other aspects of my life, I've finally completed and submitted my application to Roosevelt and DePaul tonight.  It makes me a little nervous.  I really want to get in and go to grad school, but I don't know if it is what I should do.  I thought for a long time that it was.  And then I was having doubts about it.  I decided to back off on it and only apply to schools that I know I really want to attend, but I still have somewhat unsettled feelings about it.  I think it may just be fear of rejection, but as I stated before, this year, I'm refusing to let fear get the best of me. 

I've also been struck this week with a number of different insightful thoughts.  From various places, a CD that has been playing in my car, people I've talked to, and from one of my favorite books, Do Hard Things by Alex and Brett Harris.

If all of these trials bring me closer to You, then I will go through the fire, if You want me to.
True courage is not the absence of fear, but rather refusing to allow fear to control your actions.
It is ok to fail at hard things, because effort - even failed effort, produces growth.
We got stronger, even though we failed to hit the goal. 

And this last one is was reminded to me by my cooperating teacher.  He had no idea, but I've been going through a kind of rough time with all the stuff in my life, and I had a really strange night and was still pretty emotional as I started my day just thinking about the previous night's events.  He held up His iPod and just read to me from 1 Peter 5:7 "Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you."   Isn't it interesting how God knows exactly what you need?  As soon as he shared that, I almost started crying (I didn't... whew!).  It was just a nice reminder for the day, and as I remembered that, the day got brighter and I was able to enjoy it more.  It was like God's special message for me.  I've said it before in this blog, but each day I am more and more amazed at how God works through everything to reach us in the most unexpected ways.