How fine is the line...

…between love and hate?

It's been said that hate is just a different type of love.  I'm not sure if I agree with that completely, but I do believe that until you have loved, you cannot hate.

January 5, 2012.  I hate that day.  We had one of the most memorable conversations of our friendship thus far.  And I hated it.  Well, not all of it.  Just a tiny portion of it.  You always seem to say the things that I know in my heart to be true, but refuse to admit to myself.  And I love that about you.  But I hated it this day.   You forced me to a realization in my life that I thought I had dealt with.  I thought I had moved on from that particular track.  But of course, in the fashion that you normally do, you made one small statement that sent me into a crazy spiral of self-reflection.  That tiny statement proved to have one of the biggest impacts on my life this year.  I both hate and love you for that.... mostly love, I think?

Since that day, I feel like I have been on the craziest emotional roller-coaster ride ever.  I know I always say that, but this time, I feel it more than ever.  It’s like I’ve been living two lives… one that is perfectly fine on the outside, but a complete mess on the inside.  I know that there are more difficult and heartbreaking senarios that I could be going through, but I have gone through a lot of pain because of this.  The true healing process has begun.  And I wanted to share something that has given me peace and assurance that, as painful as this continues to be, God is faithful to us and through us.

God gives hope to all those who suffer by promising both His abiding presence and His overflowing peace. Psalm 34:18 says that the Lord "is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." In John 14:27 Jesus states, "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you . . . Do not let your hearts be troubled."

In II Corinthians 1:3-4 Paul writes, "Praise be to God . . . the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." Sometimes the very reason pain has been allowed into our lives is so that we can be more effective in our ministry to others.

God's purposes in allowing pain in our lives are multi-faceted. Not only does He teach us about His love and faithfulness amidst our times of sorrow, but after our grieving has ended, He gives us strength to offer words of wisdom to others who are experiencing similar situations. I Peter 5:9 says, " . . . Your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings." Thus, we serve as both a support base and a hope for those who are walking through difficult situations proving that with God's help even seemingly insurmountable obstacles can be overcome.

If you are struggling with emotional pain, take comfort in the fact that God has your situation in the palm of His hands. He will not let you go, and He will not let you down. A final word of hope can be found in I Peter 5:10, "And the God of all grace, who called you . . . , after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, form, and steadfast."

I so look forward to loving that day! :)